Mothers are the real deal. I mean they are the parent that every child wanna get permission from in order to do something. Personally, I believe mothers are the backbones of the family. They are always there to keep everything on track. BUT.. they can taaaaaaalk lool (African mothers can talk I’m not even gonna lie). I am gonna be a mother one day.. actually soon.. very soon. So I decided to have a conversation with a mother and get to understand what it is like to be one.
1. what do you like the most about being a mother?
I love the bond I share with my daughter the most. That unconditional love between a mother and child is an amazing feeling. Her smile is precious and I’m truly blessed to have been entrusted by God to nurture her to what He has destined her to be.
2. How is it like being an African mother living outside of Africa?
it’s a challenge raising a child outside Ghana. Back home we would have had the whole family helping to raise her. Babysitting would be much easier where as here it’s hard and costly. I find that it’s a bit hard incorporating our own traditions and culture here in England so as a parent if you’re not persistent and firm, the child will grow up without knowing any of it’s original roots.
It’s been a bit easier for me because I’m all about my culture and traditions but with my daughter being in school with other people it was a challenge to find fun ways of introducing her to everything.
3. What has motherhood taught you about yourself?
That I have absolutely no patience but over the years she has taught me exercise patience in all circumstances. I’ve learnt also of my own strengths and weaknesses. I’m stronger than I give myself credit for and I keep persevering no matter the challenges ahead.
4. Is there anything you don’t like about being a mother?
Nothing really, I love the good, the bad and the ugly. It’s all part of what makes it worth it.
5. Do you think you can do anything different now to make motherhood better for you?
To trust God more and learn from my mistakes.
6. What do you think about feminism as a mother?
I honestly believe women should have equal rights as men but I also believe that a Christian woman will know her place at home. Women are helpmates and not equal to their spouses so while we are fighting for everything to be equal, we also need to know how to play our roles at home in order to avoid crossing boundaries that can cause havoc to our happiness.
7. How do you see your position in society as women?
Some years ago a woman’s role was to marry, have children and stay at home to raise the children while the husband went to fend for his family. Nowadays women are getting degrees, having a career and raising amazing children married or not. Times have changed so much that women are doing more than deemed fit. I think times have changed where women were looked down on but are encouraged to explore all their potentials. In a whole, we contribute to the society by raising good children in the home who contribute positively to the betterment of society as a whole.
8. What do you think about the perceptions regarding motherhood in society lately? For example; there are a lot of talks on maternity leave and women and men getting the same maternity leave and equal pay. As an African woman, does any of this affect you?
I personally think maternity leave should be for the women to decide on if they want to share with their spouses.
I took a year off work to be with my daughter when she was born and even that wasn’t enough when I resumed work. It’s hard leaving a little one who depends on you behind so it should be a personal choice. Some women are capable of resuming work six weeks after childbirth while others struggle after a year so it should be a choice rather than an imposed one. I do believe that men should be entitled to their normal two weeks paternity leave though.
Aunty Jackie’s mother
9. What has your mum taught you that you are teaching your child?
To solely depend on God. Everything about my mum is God centred and that is what I want to teach my daughter. For her to know that no matter how good or bad things get, her love for and trust in God should never waiver.
Thank you for sharing your experience of motherhood with me.